Smokey and the Cop

Copyright 2017 – Stephen Redgwell

Smokey Rauchenwiessen lives on the next farm over from me. He spent the better part of last Saturday emptying sand out of the ditch from the county road that runs in front of his place. He and his sons Nelson and Wilbur were tossing it back onto the asphalt. It was everything that the MTO had spread there over the winter.

After they were done, Smokey was at the end of his laneway, raking around the mailbox. An OPP officer pulled over and asked him how all the sand got onto the road. Smokey told him the snowplow put it there.

The cop said, “I don’t think so. It’s May!” and he would have to write Smokey a ticket.

Smokey just looked at him and laughed. “Did you see me put it on the road?” he asked. No, the cop replied.

“Is there anything indicating that it’s my sand?”

Again, the cop said no. So Smokey grinned and told that fellow to chat with the MTO. His exact words were,

“I guarantee you they will admit to dumping that sand onto the road. Go give them a ticket!”

That cop was fuming, but he had no witnesses who saw the Rauchenwiessens shovelling it onto the road, and he didn’t catch them in the act.

Smokey smiled and told the cop that he might win a suggestion award. Maybe even get promoted! The province gives out awards for energy and money saving ideas that are submitted by their employees. He said that the ministry should pick up the sand so they can recycle it. Think of the money that will be saved next winter!

Johnny Law figured Smokey was responsible, but there was nothing he could do! He got in his cruiser, slammed the door and drove off.

But it isn’t over. That cop is new around here. Wait until he drives over the cow sh!t in the next few weeks! Smokey always dumps the leftovers onto the county road when he’s done plowing and spreading manure…